Hangover ‘cures’ that make you feel worse after a big night

So you had a big night, congrats. Hope your tequila marathon was worth the horrendous hangover today. Bet it was. To help minimize the agony you currently find yourself in – and before you do/take anything that’s going to make you feel worse, not better – we thought we’d provide some official clarification on what hangover ‘cures’ do and do not work. And specifically, why the hangover cure myths are fallacies.

As you sign yourself up for one of these wellness subscription boxes while sitting on your plush new couch and face mask in full swing, consider whether making that salt-heavy, super-fatty Deliveroo order is really going to be best for the hangover you’re nursing.

After a big night on the turps, take heed of these discoveries:

Hangover headaches are because of dehydration. Drink electrolyte-spiked water to effectively rehydrate; water alone’s going to take longer to absorb. If you’re really struggling to grin-and-bear the hangover headache, have ibuprofen, not Panadol (acetaminophen) or aspirin. This is because the acetaminophen actually compounds the level of toxicity in your liver after you’ve been drinking because your liver’s already busy trying to eliminate the alcohol. Aspirin increases the acid secretion in your stomach, which ain’t gonna help anyone’s headache. Instead, stick to Ibuprofen to minimize your headache and reduce the inflammation caused by alcohol being processed by the liver.

All you’re doing is delaying the inevitable. And, in fact, worsening what’s coming by adding more fuel to the fire.

Coffee/anything caffeinated for that matter has diuretic effects, meaning it enhances the loss of water, which is pretty much the main thing you don’t want to do when you’re already super-dehydrated from drinking. It’s even worse if you’ve already had a couple of cheeky voms. As above, sports drinks are what you need.

Alcohol’s alcohol. Sure, the different types are horses of a different colour…but they’re still a horse. Red wine, however, thanks to its higher level of tannins can make you feel far worse. Low sulphate, low tannin wine is the best if you’re planning on a marathon drinking sesh with oodles of cheese.

At the gym or in a sauna, this is not going to rid your body of toxins faster. It’s going to make you feel worse because you’re dehydrating yourself further, much like a coffee will. Do some exercise once your hangover’s gone to burn off the calories you ingested, but only when your hangover’s dissipated.

Sorry, bud, raiding the fridge and kitchen pantry will not help to absorb the gallon of ethanol you’ve consumed. Eating healthily the next morning – as opposed to scoffing a greasy Full English – is the best thing you can do to nurse yourself back to health.